Well, okay so this isn’t completely finished as a first draft. But close to it. When I get back in town and have some time I will post separately about how to adapt this musical for your own perverse purposes. I’m also going to come back and load this up with some inspirational pictures for scenes, costuming and other visual references. Until then, enjoy!

*

KING FELIX

Characters:

FELIX is basically Jesus
MAGGIE is basically MAGGIE Magdalene
JUDAS is Felix’s best friend
DEMON is a demon who variously torments both Maggie and Felix
BUM is Felix’s father (Joseph)
DRUNKS are drunk frat guys
MARTHA is Maggie’s friend who she goes to stay with
LAZARUS is Martha’s husband
FRIENDS are two groups of friends, one set for Felix, one for Maggie
ZOEY is an ex-girlfriend of Felix (her name means “life” which i thought was cool)

Setting:

Starts before FELIX begins his public ministry. That is, before he accepts the responsibility that he knows God has been trying to shove down his throat his whole life: to save the world. He doesn’t think he is a good candidate for the job. He, in fact, knows he’s not because he’s a horrible person. Even if MAGGIE doesn’t see it, he’s the only one who knows what’s in his heart. Him and God. And he keeps telling God to fuck off. He’s not ready. He probably never will be. He’s going to drink himself into a stupor first to make sure that he’s never ready.

But that shit isn’t really working out so much.

Not anymore. Not since he met MAGGIE. They met at a bar while they were both traveling and he hasn’t been able to shake her since. She keeps going on and on about being in love with him and all this shit. And now she’s moved in with him. She’s awesome to have around and all, pretty, a good cook and can drink as much as needed usually. But FELIX just knows there’s something he has to do. (guitar solo in the desert)

He just doesn’t know what it is.

I mean, he does, but he won’t let himself just do it.

*

ACT 1

Scene 1: World Class Panic Attack

FELIX and MAGGIE in bed at night. Maggie is sound asleep. Felix is tossing and turning and bolts upright out of bed, sweating and obviously in pain. He is having a world class panic attack. Maggie wakes up, glances over at him sleepily.

MAGGIE. Oh good Lord, not again. (She puts her arm around him without sitting up, like she’s done and seen this a hundred times before – and has.)

FELIX. (Smiling faintly and weakly, strokes her long hair) I’ll be alright. It’s nothing.

MAGGIE. Is there anything I can do?

FELIX. (Shakes his head and stares off into space blankly drawing out a long pause) I think I just need to go for a walk or something.

MAGGIE. (Looking sad) Okay then.

(FELIX begins getting out of bed and pulling on some clothes)

MAGGIE. (Quietly) FELIX…

FELIX. Yeah? (He smiles like he has a stomach ache and has his hand across his solar plexus)

MAGGIE. We’ll figure this out.

(FELIX smiles like he doesn’t believe her but doesn’t want her to know that he doesn’t)

MAGGIE. I love you.

(FELIX kisses her forehead and leaves)

*

Scene 2: Drunken assholes

FELIX has just left the house and is wandering aimlessly through the quiet streets of the town where they are living. No one is really out and about except for drunks and various types of lowlifes. A gang of surly drunks stumbles towards him aggressively. (Maybe later some of these drunks could reappear as Apostles?)

DRUNK 1. Hey you got a smoke man?

FELIX. Nah, sorry. (FELIX hands are in his pockets and he is looking down as he tries to keep walking.)

DRUNK 2. What about a dollar? You got a dollar? (The drunks are almost dancing around him, tormenting him like devils or something)

(FELIX shakes his head no and tries to keep on walking past them. One of the drunks gets in front of him, right in his face.)

DRUNK 3. No smokes? No dollar? I don’t believe you, rich boy. (FELIX tries to look away) Look at me when I’m talking to you.

(FELIX stares at him calmly, like he’s secretly about to snap)

DRUNK 3. Oh look at this guy, thinks he’s a big shot. (The other drunks circle round menacingly behind their ring leader.) You think you’re a tough guy, huh?

FELIX. (Doesn’t blink or waver his eye contact with the drunk. Pauses significantly). Nope.

DRUNK 3. (Shoves FELIX in the chest, pushing him onto the ground) That’s what I thought, faggot! (All the drunks burst out laughing and leave the humiliated FELIX on the ground)

*

Scene 3: I walk these streets

FELIX sits there for a moment, reclining on his elbows and looks up at the stars. For the first time in a long while, a look of peace crosses his face. He doesn’t know why exactly. As he gets up and dusts himself off, he begins to sing a song. Probably an 80’s power ballad, but I don’t know which one. This could work with some tailoring and maybe being combined with another song or two:

FELIX. It’s all the same, only the names will change
Everyday it seems we’re wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
I’d drive all night just to get back home

[Chorus:]
I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I’m wanted dead or alive
I’m a cowboy
Wanted dead or alive

Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it’s not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink (Maybe he picks up a partially empty alcohol container here, eyes it and throws it away)
And times when you’re alone all you do is think

[Chorus]

I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back
I play for keeps, ’cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, and I’m standing tall
I’ve seen a million faces an I’ve rocked them all

I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I’m wanted dead or alive
I’m a cowboy, I got the night on my side
I’m wanted dead or alive
And I ride, dead or alive
I still drive, dead or alive
Dead or alive [x4]

*

Scene 4: Bum Juice

FELIX is feeling pretty high on himself after walking around singing about how tough he is, even though he just got totally humiliated by a bunch of drunks. Because the thing is, he’s tough in other ways. In ways most people don’t understand and can’t see. MAGGIE says she can see it, but he thinks she’s just deluding herself. Because if she’s right, then he’ll have to start believing it for real himself, instead of just singing about it when nobody’s listening or there to criticize him for it. He’s looking down with his hands in his pockets again as he walks.

FELIX. (humming) I’m a cowboy… on a steel horse I ride…

BUM. (a bum appears out of the shadows suddenly. FELIX is surprised but not frightened) Going down in a blaze of glory, hey lad?

FELIX. (acts confused even though he knows exactly what the bum means) Huh? (His posture stiffens, having been caught off guard in his private moment of reverie)

BUM. (Eyes FELIX sagely) Let me guess: you never drew first, but you always drew first blood?

FELIX. (crossing his arms defensively and narrowing his eyes) Yeah, something like that.

BUM. (laughs) Boy, you think you got troubles? I got an old coat for a pillow and the earth was last night’s bed. I don’t know where I’m going. And only God knows where I’ve been.

FELIX. (laughing snidely) Oh, tell me about it.

BUM. (suddenly serious and pointing angrily right in FELIX’ face) Listen to me boy if you don’t ever listen to one thing in your life.

(FELIX looks scared and is leaning back away from him)

BUM. (easing off) Don’t know what you got till it’s gone. Am I right?

(FELIX furrows his brow)

BUM. What’s her name? She pretty? Nice tits?

FELIX. Fuck off man.

BUM. Hoho! That bad, eh? Well, you’re fucked man. Six gun lover or no, the Devil’s gonna blow your candle out in the wind if you’re not careful.

FELIX. (He unfolds his arms, and clenches both fists in front of him like he’s about to fight. But instead he reached them out and up and breakis into song)

When you’re brought into this world
They say you’re born in sin
Well at least they gave me something
I didn’t have to steal or have to win

BUM. Well they tell me that I’m wanted
Yeah I’m a wanted man

I’m colt in your stable
I’m what Cain was to Abel
Mister catch me if you can

BOTH. I’m going down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
I’m going down in a blaze of glory

FELIX. Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I’m no one’s son
Call me young gun

You ask about my consience
And I offer you my soul
You ask If I’ll grow to be a wise man
Well I ask if I’ll grow old
You ask me if I known love
And what it’s like to sing songs in the rain
Well,I’ve seen love come
And I’ve seen it shot down
I’ve seen it die in vain

BOTH. Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
‘Cause I’m going down in a blaze of glory

FELIX. Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I’m the devil’s son
Call me young gun

Each night I go to bed
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
No I ain’t looking for forgiveness
But before I’m six foot deep
Lord,I got to ask a favor (Gets down on his knees)
And I’ll hope you’ll understand
‘Cause I’ve lived life to the fullest
Let the boy die like a man
Staring down the bullet
Let me make my final stand

BOTH. Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
I’m going out in a blaze of glory

FELIX. Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
and I’m no one’s son
Call me young gun
I’m a young gun

BUM. Well, here you go young gun (hands FELIX whiskey bottle). You’re gonna need this. Take er easy… (pauses) son. (Walks offstage).

FELIX. (confused and looking like a little kid) Dad?

[stage goes dark]

*

ACT 2

Scene 1: Nice Lady

The next day, around dinner-time. Porch scene. MAGGIE has just gotten off work and finds FELIX and his best friend Judas already quite drunk and stoned on the porch. Between the two of them they have drank almost an entire twelve pack that she had bought for her and FELIX earlier. She tries to hide her annoyance.

(FELIX just smiles as she comes up, says nothing)

JUDAS. Hey, lady. How was work?

MAGGIE. Oh you know, same old shit. (FELIX passes her the last beer he is drinking)

MAGGIE. (takes it and has only one swig) You hungry at all? (hands the beer back)

FELIX. (ponders a minute dramatically staring into space) Don’t know anymore. (drinks the rest of the beer) Could use more beer though.

MAGGIE. (hiding anger) Yeah, I’m going to need it.

(Judas and FELIX look at each other and laugh.

Maggie closes her eyes and turns around in utter frustration. Without saying anything she walks off to buy more beer and food for the both of them.)

JUDAS. (looks over at FELIX with eyebrows raised) Whoops.

FELIX. Whatever. (chuckles darkly and then feels bad and sighs)

JUDAS. Nice lady, that one. (they both continue drinking and smoking)

FELIX. Yeah.

JUDAS. ….One in a million.

FELIX. Ugh, tell me about it.

JUDAS. (puts down the beer and looks at FELIX seriously. Begins spoken turns into singing after Felix first responds)

Listen boy
Don’t want to see you let a good thing
Slip away

You know I don’t like watching
Anybody make the same mistakes
I made

She’s a real nice girl
And she’s always there for you

FELIX. But a nice girl wouldn’t tell you what you should do

JUDAS. Listen boy
I’m sure that you think you got it all
Under control

You don’t want somebody telling you
The way to stay in someone’s soul

You’re a big boy now
You’ll never let her go
But that’s just the kind of thing
She ought to know

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you’re for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

Listen boy
It’s not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself
You’ve got to provide communication constantly

When you love someone
You’re always insecure
And there’s only one good way
To reassure

Tell her about it
Let her know how much you care
When she can’t be with you
Tell her you wish you were there

Tell her about it
Every day before you leave
Pay her some attention
Give her something to believe

Cause now and then
She’ll get to worrying
Just because you haven’t spoken
For so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she’s gone

Listen boy
It’s good information from a man
Who’s made mistakes

Just a word or two that she gets from you
Could be the difference that it makes

She’s a trusting soul
She’s put her trust in you
But a girl like that won’t tell you
What you should do

BOTH. Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason
To accept that you’re for real

Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her
Let her know how much she means

JUDAS. Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don’t want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won’t go wrong
You got to tell her about it
Before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don’t want
To wait–you got to
Tell her about it

*

Scene 2: The First Supper

[?]

Scene 3: Lion’s Thorns

They are both laying in bed, again. Both can sense another panic attack or something coming on. Each pretends to the other like they are asleep.

MAGGIE. (Getting up slowly) We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

FELIX. Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess thats why they say

Chorus:
BOTH. Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

MAGGIE. (angry and hurt, spoken throatily) Yeah it does…

(Musical interlude as MAGGIE packs her things and leaves. FELIX says nothing because he’s shocked and hurt but also secretly wants her to go, but not really. It leaves him utterly unable to react, in any case.

Could be some juggling or dancing or something here as scene changes. Should probably accompany MAGGIE as she continues singing)

MAGGIE. I listen to our favorite song
Playing on the radio
Hear the dj say loves a game of easy come and
Easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this

FELIX. (appears elsewhere on stage, so that you’re seeing both their locations at once, but they are separate if you know what I mean) And I know that youd be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

BOTH. [sing Chorus]

MAGGIE. Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains

(Both walk off stage in their own directions in a combined moment of anger, hurt, frustration, confusion and finally just giving up during the guitar solo as it fades into silence)

*

Scene 4: Lover Divine

(FELIX and MAGGIE both appear on opposite sides of the stage again, seeming to go about their daily lives publicly as though nothing has changed and everything is fine. But both of their groups of friends are gossiping, which is from a Howard Jones song “Everlasting Love”. The confrontations between the two groups of friends could be vaguely reminiscent of the gangs in West Side Story. Have em dance and kinda mess with each other a bit.)

FRIENDS 1. He wasnt looking for a pretty face

FRIENDS 2. She wasnt searching for the latest style

FRIENDS 1. He didnt want someone who walked straight off the tv

FRIENDS 2. She needed someone with an interior smile

FRIENDS 2. She wasnt looking for a cuddle in the back seat

FRIENDS 1. He wasnt looking for a five minute thrill

FRIENDS 2. She wasnt thinking of tomorrow or of next week

FELIX. This vacancy he meant to permanently fill

Chorus
MAGGIE. I need an everlasting love
I need a friend and a lover divine
An everlasting precious love

FRIENDS 2. (MAGGIE’s friends singing to her) Wait for it, wait for it, give it some time

Back in the world of disposable emotion
In the climate of temporary dreams

FRIENDS 1. He wasnt looking for a notch on his bedpost
FRIENDS 2. A love to push, pull and burst at the seams

FRIENDS ALL. Is this love worth waiting for?

FELIX & MAGGIE. Something special, something pure

FRIENDS ALL. Is this love worth waiting for
Bitterness will die for sure

FELIX & MAGGIE. Something special, something pure

*

ACT 3

Scene 1: Train Station

MAGGIE is so totally pissed because she took the trouble to walk out on FELIX to prove a point and he’s not even listening or he’s acting like he’s not so that he doesn’t have to rise to the challenge and he can just disappear back into nothingness. She is absolutely heartbroken but still feels like she did the right thing, but she just can’t believe it’s going this way. It’s so retarded.

I would assume in this scene she is getting in a train or something to go far far away, possibly forever. I assume that in this scene she would be boarding a train, finding a seat, etc. She probably starts the song quietly and gets really loud at the falsetto end part, obviously. Actually the lead singer of Cinderella in this video kind of reminds me of what MAGGIE should look like.

MAGGIE. Waiting at the station
Tears filling up my eyes
Sometimes the pain you hide
Burns like a fire inside
Look out my window
Sometimes its hard to see
The things you want in life
Come and go so easily

She took the last train out of my heart ooo, ooo
She took the last train
And now I think Ill make a brand new start
She took the last train out of my heart

Watching the days go by
Thinking bout the plans we made
The days turn into years
Funny how they fade away
Sometimes I think of those days
Sometimes I just hide away
Waiting on that 9:20 train
Waiting on a memory

She took the last train out of my heart ooo, ooo
She took the last train
And now I think Ill make a brand new start
She took the last train out of my heart

My ladys on the fly and shes never coming back
My love is like a steam train rolling down the tracks yea, yea

She took the last train out of my heart ooo, ooo
She took the last train
And now I think Ill make a brand new start
She took the last train out of my heart

She took the last train ooo, out of my heart
She took the last train
And now I think Ill make a new start
Last train out of my heart

*

Scene 2: FELIX at his job

I’m thinking either he works at some kind of office or some kind of store. During this whole scene, while everyone’s trying to make light of the situation, FELIX is admitting to himself that he is lying to everyone when he says he doesn’t miss her.

FELIX. I’ve been thinking ’bout the times you walked out on me
There were moments I’d believe, you were there
Do I miss you, or am I lying to myself again
I do these things (it’s all because of you)
I keep holding on, but I’ll try (try not to think of you)
Love don’t leave me lonely

I’ll be alright without you - there’ll be someone else, I keep tellin’ myself
I’ll be alright without you - oh, love’s an empty face, I can’t replace
(you don’t need it)

People wondrin’ why we broke apart, the great pretender here I go again
These things I do (it’s all because of you)
I’ll keep holdin’ on, but I’ll try (try not to think of you)
All I wanted was to hold you

I’ll be alright without you - there’ll be someone else, I keep tellin’ myself
I’ll be alright without you - love’s an empty face, oh I’ve got to replace

I’ll be alright without you - there’ll be someone else, I keep tellin’ myself
I’ll be alright without you - oh, love’s an empty place
I can still see your face (I’ll be alright)

(Interludes back into Every Rose Has Its Thorns in order to drive home a plot point of MAGGIE dating someone else – or so the Demon tells FELIX. One of his friends or coworkers or something could act as the demon in this section. They could suddenly put on horns or have a red spotlight or something. This could make a nice convention to use later when MAGGIE gets tormented by demons as well)

DEMON. Yeah I hear she found somebody new, and that you never meant that much to her.

FELIX. To hear that tears me up inside. But to see her, to see her would cut me like a knife.

DEMON. I guess that’s why they say every rose has its thorns

FELIX. Yeah, it does. (Walks offstage with his hands in his pockets looking down again)

*

Scene 3: Happy Hour

FELIX goes to the bar with some friends and gets trashed and runs into an ex-girlfriend (Zoey) who is still interested in him and he’s all like, well whatever because fucking MAGGIE is already out there whoring it up (according to the demon), what does it matter? So they proceed to flirt and talk, etc, but whatever he does he just can’t shake thinking about MAGGIE.. This is, I guess, a moment of introspection somewhere sequentially within all that action. It’s also one of several of the Jesus temptation type scenes

FELIX. As I sit in this smokey room
The night about to end
I pass my time with strangers
But this bottles my only friend

ZOEY: Don’t be so sure, sailor.

FELIX. Whoa! Holy shit, Zoey? How long has it been? (he asks up at her drunk from the table and not getting up to greet her, which she is obviously mad about)

ZOEY. (Laughing instead of answering his question) Remember when we used to park
On butler street out in the dark?
Remember when we lost the keys?

FELIX. (rubbing his forehead with his palm, down over his eyes). And you lost more than that in my backseat

ZOEY: Remember when we used to talk
About busting out - we’d break their hearts
Together - forever

FELIX. Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end

(She sits down next to him so they are both sitting in a round booth at a bar)

BOTH. Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin on - we got to try
Holdin on to never say goodbye

ZOEY. Remember days of skipping school
Racing cars and being cool

FELIX. With a six pack and the radio
We didnt need no place to go

ZOEY. Remember at the prom that night
You and me we had a fight

FELIX. But the band they played our favorite song
And I held you in my arms so strong

ZOEY. We danced so close
We danced so slow

FELIX. And I swore Id never let you go
Together - forever

ZOEY. Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end

BOTH. Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin on - we got to try
Holdin on to never say goodbye

ZOEY. Damn, it’s good to see you. Where’s that girl of yours I heard about?

FELIX. (expressionlessly) She split.

ZOEY. Ooh, too bad. Well, I’m sure she wasn’t right for you anyway. She didn’t understand you like I do. (She looks at him “knowingly”)

FELIX. (staring blankly ahead, ignoring her innuendo altogether) Right.

(She goes to kiss him as he looks away and the curtain falls or shit goes dark whatever)

FELIX. (talking not singing, climbs up onto the table)

Somebody saw you at the station
You had your suitcase in your hand
You didnt give no information
You walked off with another man
Im alwaays standing in the shadows, baby
I watched you ugive yourself away
You take them home into your bedroom
You had another busy day

I tried to look the other way and fake it
You push me to the limits
I cant take it

(everyone at bar in the dark sings as FELIX looks around fearfully at what he realizes are actually gathered demons sent to torment and to test him)

FRIENDS & DEMONS. One down, one to go
Just another bullet in the chamber
Sometimes loves a loaded gun
Red lights, stop and go
Whatcha gonna do when yo play with danger
Sometimes loves a loaded gun
And it shoots to kill

*

Scene 4: Unhappy Hour

MAGGIE hears through friends that FELIX got back together with ex-girlfriend Zoey, although she doesn’t know that he only did it because he thought MAGGIE was already over him. Or some shit. But what he heard about her was a lie told by FELIX’ friends to help him get over it faster. Of course it didn’t work. Now he’s just in a further mess with more people.

Anyway this could be a good MAGGIE solo, although I don’t want to use too many (and by that I mean only) Bon Jovi songs. But whatever we can worry about that later after basic scenes, plots and songs are all laid out and we have something to work with.

Scene takes place in Martha & Lazarus apartment…

MARTHA. (MAGGIE’s friend, saying it spitefully) Yeah, I heard FELIX got back together with that slut ex-girlfriend of his.

MAGGIE. What? Are you fucking serious? Fuck this. Fuck all of this.

(She flips out at first angry and then starts to cry. Martha comes over to comfort her)

MARTHA. Oh honey, don’t cry. He’s not worth it.

MAGGIE. (Pushing her away) No, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.

MARTHA. Are you sure?

MAGGIE. (wiping tears from her eyes) Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need to be by myself for a while.

MARTHA. Okay, well I’ll be upstairs if you need anything. I’ll make sure Laz (Lazarus, Martha’s husband) doesn’t disturb you when he gets home.

MAGGIE. Thanks (a tearful wave as Martha leaves)
(sits down at a desk and begins singing softly as she absently looks through drawers. She finds a revolver she finds in Laz’ desk and begins to toy with it.)

An angels smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passions a prison, you cant break free

(Demons appear suddenly in a flash of light and smoke)

DEMONS. Youre a loaded gun
Theres nowhere to run

MAGGIE. No one can save me (demons rush towards her)
The damage is done (she closes her eyes and points the gun at herself without looking)

( Lazarus coming home from work, finds her there and struggles to take the gun away from her. It goes off, and it kills him instead of her. MAGGIE drops the gun, horrified and sobbing and screams for Martha. Martha rushes downstairs as the demons begin to sing. She sees what happened and they both begin crying hysterically.

Could be an awesome demon dance number as they accuse and taunt MAGGIE for murdering Lazarus)

Chorus:
DEMONS. Shot through the heart
And youre to blame
You give love a bad name

MAGGIE. I play my part and you play your game

DEMONS. You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

Paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boys dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

Youre a loaded gun (MAGGIE picks up the gun while Martha is crying)
Theres nowhere to run

MAGGIE. No one can save me (she puts it into her mouth this time. Stage goes dark)
The damage is done (and fires)

*

ACT 4

Scene 1: MAGGIE’s Funeral

Ballad of Jane plays during MAGGIE’s silently performed funeral. Could be modeled after the model funeral in November Rain. I think there’s also a scene in Romeo & Juliet where one of them finds the other dead.

FELIX walks into a mausoleum type room or a morgue or something. The point is both MAGGIE and Lazarus’ bodies are laying on slabs and there is dim green or blue lighting to make it look creepy and “dead” along with maybe a single red lightbulb or something. Could be some cool vampire-esque references in here…

FELIX walks into this room deeply distressed, having heard about what happened and come here right away, but it was obviously way too late. You can tell that he knows he drove her to do this. And he is just about at the verge of collapse himself as a result of it.

FELIX. (runs over to and falls across MAGGIE’s body). Oh my God, Maggie. I’m so sorry. This should have never happened. I should be the one laying here dead, not you.

(demons appear suddenly in a flash of smoke)

DEMON. Oh really? Well that can be arranged.

FELIX. (Squinting in gathering recognition) Hey, I know you! Wait a minute. You’re that asshole who got me into this in the first place, saying she got over me and shit…

DEMON. And she did. (tilts his head towards her dead body)

FELIX. (fuming) …

DEMON. I mean, obviously.

(FELIX punches the demon across the face and the two get into a fight. It is literally FELIX struggling with his own inner demons about MAGGIE etc. The fighting gradually turns into dramatic singing and posturing)

FELIX. When there’s lightning - it always bring me down
Cause it’s free and I see that it’s me
Who’s lost and never found
I cry for magic - I feel it dancing in the light
But it was cold - I lost my hold
To the shadows of the night

DEMON. There’s no sign of the morning coming
You’ve been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark

Do your demons - do they ever let you go
When you’ve tried - do they hide -deep inside
Is it someone that you know? (points to dead body of MAGGIE)
You’re a picture - just an image caught in time
We’re a lie - you and I
We’re words without a rhyme

There’s no sign of the morning coming
You’ve been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark

When there’s lightning - it always brings me down
Cause it’s free and I see that it’s me
Who’s lost and never found
Feel the magic -feel it dancing in the air
But it’s fear - and you’ll hear
It calling you beware

There’s no sign of the morning coming
There’s no sight of the day
You’ve been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark

*

Scene 2: Dreams in the Mist

MAGGIE is walking through a dark wooded area (they should look like redwoods). She is in the Land of the Dead. She is following Lazarus who is just a short ways ahead of her. She is walking and she keeps thinking that she sees and hears FELIX coming down to follow her and be with her. FELIX actually is, but she doesn’t yet realize it’s really happening for real. Could be cool with blacklights and shrouds on the dead characters.

MAGGIE. Spare a little candle
Save some light for me
figures up ahead (squints and shields her eyes trying to see Lazarus ahead of her)
Moving in the trees

White skin, in linen
Perfume on my wrist
And the full moon that hangs over
these dreams in the mist

Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands

(she sees FELIX but can’t really see him very well because of the gauze shroud over her eyes)

I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist

{chorus}
These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night, I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake, the further I’m away

Is it cloak ‘n dagger
Could it be Spring or Fall
I walk without a cut,
Through a stained glass wall

Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no volume
Falling from my lips

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night, I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake, the further I’m away

There’s something out there, I can’t resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There’s something out there, I can’t resist

The sweetest song is silence
That I’ve ever heard
Funny how your feet in dreams
Never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night, I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake, the further I’m away

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night, I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it’s cold outside
Every moment I’m awake, the further I’m away

(Might also want to cut that in half or something. Or it could be a big long MAGGIE solo. At the end of this scene, FELIX finally catches up to her and takes her by the wrist. At first she resists and tries to turn and go on ahead into the land of the dead with Lazarus.)

FELIX. Lazarus! Come here a minute, brother! We need your light to see by.

(Lazarus walks slowly like a mummy to where they are and raises his light. MAGGIE’s face is veiled, and FELIX slowly lifts it. She seems startled, like she is seeing him again for the first time ever. It is as though memories of her life on earth rush back into her instantaneously.

He kisses her.)

MAGGIE. FELIX? (she stares at him a moment and then throws her arms around him desperately). Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s really you. You came here for me? I thought I dreamt it. I laughed so hard I thought I died. Everything’s been so… misty for me here. But how did you get here?

(FELIX shows her his hands. Blood is streaming down his palms like he was either crucified or slit his wrists)

MAGGIE. (screaming) Oh my god! Oh my god! What did you do? Why did you do this?

FELIX. It was gonna be a long cold winter without your love.

MAGGIE. (turns away from him and says darkly and hurt) Love will tear us apart.

FELIX. (Grabbing her) Love, Love will keep us together. (begins to sing Captain and Tenille’s song of the same name. MAGGIE cuts him off immediately)

MAGGIE. I don’t know… (pauses and then sings a capella from Meatloaf) I want you. I need you. But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you… Not now. Not after everything.

FELIX. (lightly, shrugging) Every rose has its thorns.

(We now realize he is wearing a crown of thorns, which also is roses at the same time. Blood begins to pour profusely from his head and he seems like he is going to pass out. Everything becomes very slow and hazy for him…

MAGGIE grabs him and sits him down and begins tending to his wounds, cleaning him, and eventually anointing him with oil as he sings the following song. This is sort of the “Everything’s Alright” scene in Superstar, I think, roughly)

FELIX. Sitting here wasted and wounded
At this old piano
Trying hard to capture
The moment this morning I don’t know
‘Cause a bottle of vodka
Is still lodged in my head
And some blonde gave me nightmares
I think that she’s still in my bed
As I dream about movies
They won’t make of me when I’m dead

With an ironclad fist I wake up and
French kiss the morning
While some marching band keeps
Its own beat in my head
While we’re talking
About all of the things that I long to believe
About love and the truth and
What you mean to me
And the truth is baby you’re all that I need

I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses

MAGGIE. Well I’m so far away
That each step that I take is on my way home
A king’s ransom in dimes I’d given each night
Just to see through this payphone
Still I run out of time
Or it’s hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I’ll just close my eyes and whisper,
Baby blind love is true

BOTH. I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses

LAZARUS. The hotel bar hangover whiskey’s gone dry
The barkeeper’s wig’s crooked
And she’s giving me the eye
I might have said yeah
But I laughed so hard I think I died

(I cut out that next section cause it doesn’t fit the storyline here too well)

BOTH. I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses

(lights go dark on everyone but FELIX who sings a capella the beginning of this song)

FELIX. Well Ive been waiting, waiting here so long
But thinking nothing, nothing could go wrong, ooh now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems I’m falling, falling for her.

She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart.

Well I dont really know her, I only know her name
But she crawls under your skin, youre never quite the same, and now i
Know
Shes got something you just cant trust
Its something mysterious
And now it seems Im falling, falling for her.

(Towards the end of that a capella performance I wonder if there’s a way we could successfully transition into “Lay your hands on me”. I can sort of envision MAGGIE singing line for line layered over the top of FELIX singing “Invisible Touch.”)

MAGGIE. Lay your hands on me. (she bows down in front of him)
Lay your hands on me.
Lay your hands on me.
Lay your hands on me.
Lay your hands on me.
Lay your hands on me.
Lay your hands on me.

FELIX. (taking her hands and raising her up. He says to her what John the Baptist says to Jesus in the Bible.) No, It’s you who should be baptising me.

(breaks into song)

If youre ready, Im willing and able
Help me lay my cards out on the table
Youre mine and Im yours for the taking
Right now the rules we made are meant for breaking

MAGGIE. What you get aint always what you see
But satisfactions guaranteed
They say what you give is always what you need
So if you want me to lay my hands on you

EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
Lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,

Lay your hands on me

FELIX. Im a fighter, Im a poet, Im a preacher

MAGGIE.Ive been to school and baby, Ive been the teacher

FELIX. If you show me how to get up off the ground
I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down

MAGGIE. Everything you want is what I need
Satisfactions guaranteed

FELIX. But the ride dont never ever come for free
If you want me to lay my hands on you

EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
Lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,

Lay your hands on me

[guitar solo]

MAGGIE. Dont you know I only aim to please

FELIX. If you want me to lay my hands on you

(then they both lay their hands on each other and start kissing)

EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
Lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,
lay your hands on me,

Lay your hands on me

(along with all the extra theatrics and lyrics and “just the people” from the video, and of course the samba band

Then from there the musical basically just breaks into an 80’s dance party / karaoke party and cast members come out dressed and acting totally eighties as these songs play.

Oh and we should make it a rule that when you come to these performances as an audience member you have to come dresses as an 80’s or 90’s rocker of your choice.

Oh shit I forgot to put in Guns n Roses lyrics. Oh well, you can of course just go back in and add and remove where appropriate to make it be other songs, lines, scenes, etc. Whatever makes it work better for you. But hopefully this will give you something to start with)

(Oh actually, we could possibly do the “Lay your hands on me refrain” at the end laid over the top of half the people eventually singing louder and louder)

JUST THE PEOPLE. Making love
out of nothing at all.
Making love
out of nothing at all.

(While FELIX and MAGGIE or whoever continue to sing “lay your hands on me”)

FELIX. And being apart aint easy
On this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy
Of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
Im forever yours…faithfully

(Which, this might not work, but it could turn into a layered round where each group goes sequentially after each other)

GROUP 1: Lay your hands on me

GROUP 2. Making love

GROUP 1. Lay your hands on me

GROUP 2. out of nothing at all

GROUP 3. Oh, oh, oh, oh
Faithfully, Im still yours
Im forever yours
Ever yours…faithfully

(And so on until just the basic “lay your hands on me” beat and refrain continues for like twenty hours

And then it turns into the 80’s DJ’ed dance costume karaoke party its supposed to be afterwards)

(Somewhere along in here [before the dance party] the song “Video Killed the Radio Star” could be played as an empty cross is raised up from among the gathered people. Or something like that. )

you asked for it you got it. now what?