timboucher

The Evil Stawberry (e.v.o.o.)

I fucking saw the Cirkus Pandemonium bus drive by us at midnight in Seattle. I was so annoyed. Actually my first assumption was that I was finally going crazy. But it was really them. I can only imagine who’s on it now, who’s traveling with them. The ninja left a while back though so that’s too bad. I also liked that kid who was always wrapping his hands and feet in electrical tape. And that Spanish girl or whatever was pretty nice too, if only because she so ably cut through to the heart of things.

The restaurant we were coming from was absolutely ridiculous. It was living proof that people use language to play tricks on each other. The entire menu was made up of words you’ve never heard before, like “peppadew pepper” and funny turns of phrase like “smokey hibiscus margarita” - which I drank and enjoyed nonetheless. I wrote this in my notebook while the other kids were outside smoking cigarettes:

Peppadew peppers truffle shuffle Goonies naked chick swan redwood table businessmen drinking alone in leisurely outfits woman in black tossing her hair back too much stories about people having sex in bushes in Portland [it's a good story, actually] while Google satellites and UAV’s create indexable footage overhead American comfort food with a hip urban edge Reflections like neon music stands songs stored in solenized tubes bottles lit like tombstones napkins are black now he’s text messaging cylindrical tubes come and go through the ceiling a song that drones forever like television shows of your imagined youth you create in me contemporary paintings on tv snakes to the campfire the travelers of liberty aveda aftershave nothing is its own shape but it’s all entirely predictable watch what language you use they are watching you watch me trademark™ our thoughts bridges made of two straws between us miles apart I heard your beer didn’t buzz and I can’t say that I’m surprised yeast don’t explode on their own it’s called chemistry it’s called you and me jesters are just artists hired by rich people so someone will tell them the truth for once.

I have been seeing references to Abraham Lincoln all over the place lately. Last night he appeared on tv talking to a woodchuck. What does he mean symbolically? Father Abraham. Led the slaves out of captivity™ into the Land of Our Lord™ Was willing to sacrifice his own son sun his own life leaf to God’s angry grabby hands. Why did he do that? Why did you want to do that, father Avram?

I have, by now I think, almost entirely written over my mind into the symbolic operating system mode of consciousness. Symbols are the assembly language of the human soul, hooked into the API’s of the body’s many operational energy centers, enabling you to rewrite your body’s softdrives, your thinware and thickware. A lot of those words I made up, but not all of them:

An assembly language is a low-level language for programming computers. It implements a symbolic representation of the numeric machine codes and other constants needed to program a particular CPU architecture. This representation is usually defined by the hardware manufacturer, and is based on abbreviations (called mnemonics) that help the programmer remember individual instructions, registers, etc. An assembly language is thus specific to a certain physical or virtual computer architecture (as opposed to most high-level languages, most of which are portable).

There’s a really good Steve Pavlina podcast about this subject. I think this is the one. He calls it “consulting your intuition“, but that’s a needlessly squishy word when we’re talking about something very concrete and literal. The best trick “they” ever pulled on us is to get us to stop believing that certain integral parts of us even exist in the first place. But they do. But in order to activate them again you will unfortunately most likely have to pass through the firewall of cultural conditioning (colloquially known as “going crazy”) before you can really get to the good stuff. I’ve heard people call it “self-initiation” but I think that’s obscurantifying as well.

What happens is basically like this: this is what Steve Pavlina talks about (at least I think it’s that episode): basically you get yourself into a meditative kind of state. You don’t have to be like Buddha or something. Just relax. Just chill out best you can, however you can. Close your eyes. Lay down. Then ask yourself a question using your handy little internal monologue thingy. Then wait. Wait until an image forms in the darkness of your mind’s eye. It’s likely to be something totally obtuse. Like, if you ask it the question: “Should I get a ham sandwich at the grocery store?” you might end up with the response from your assembly language symbol generator part of your mind, [SUN]. That is, it might show you a picture of a shining sun.

Which means what? This is the tricky part. You have to open into a constant dialogue with this part of yourself to find out what this means within the language of your own experience. But fortunately you can just ask it. If you ask for a sandwich and it shows you a [SUN], then you can just say to it, “What does the sun represent?” It might unfortunately take you a few tries to get to the root of the situation, but it will reveal things to you. And they will be most extraordinary.

Likely though, it’s going to give you the answer to the question which is *really* on your heart, as opposed to whatever casual nonsense you make up. Because that part of your mind recognizes that when you ask about a ham sandwich what you’re really asking about is [NOURISHMENT] and [FEAR], the fear or insecurity that you won’t be nourished adequately. And it will try to reveal to you the root from which stems your real deeper question.

It’s annoying if you’re the kind of person who likes to lie to themselves about stuff. But it’s really the only thing that consistently works, that I have found. Pavlina has some excellent simple guidelines for helping you tune into this source, and discerning true guardianangelic™ assistance versus the obsessive noise issuing from the egodemonic™ center. This is also tangentially related and is about helping stubborn people:

When you lead a horse to water and it refuses to drink, pet the thirsty horse compassionately while you enjoy the water yourself.

At the same time, notice that you too are standing beside a water source that you refuse to drink from, even as those around you cannot understand why you hesitate.

You’ll often find that once you begin to drink from your own neglected source, the horse you’ve been trying so desperately to help begins to drink as well.

In other words, it’s helpful to remember that you are more stubborn than anyone. Even though it can lead you into obsessive recursive spirals, you must look constantly at what problems you are externalizing and projecting onto other people and ask your assembly language symbol system what’s really going on here. Is there a [FEAR] attached like a synth module to the [NOURISHMENT] subset or are you really just looking for a ham sandwich?

This is the best visual representation I’ve ever seen of how the (true) mind works. I’ve been coming back to it a lot lately:

Imagine each of those blocks is a different symbol subset pack thing. What happens is those things are these active energy centers with an open imprint but predisposed to a certain type of data from “real life” which they attract magnetically. You can arrange and rearrange them within the context of your mind (once you learn how to speak to them back in their own language) and you will have literal and metaphorical changes happen in both your life and body. At the assembly language symbol level there is no differentiation between real and unreal, literal and metaphorical. It’s transcends that and is more powerful than that type of thinking.

You can tell when people have access to it, because they understand things in a certain way. But it’s easy to become trapped by and it forget to remember that you are the one whose dark hand is silhouetted against the table in the first place. Is that the Hand of God™ or your hand? Are you about to sacrifice your son to Free the Slaves and Captives™, or is it by your hand they were put into Bondage in Babylon™?

When we got to the bar last night they had some DVD on mute which was obviously about the Da Vinci Code. It creeped me out though because (1) I had been posting and prepping a lot of the images they were blasting out to the bar lately and (2) I realized that I suddenly “understood” the language of the paintings. They don’t mean what you think. They don’t mean what Dan Brown thinks. If he even really thinks that shit. It’s kind of a silly attempt to trick people into the swirly-girly assembly language of symbols.

What do you see when you close your eyes? Let’s try an experiment right now, you and me. Or rather, you and you. In a moment (after you read this paragraph), I want you to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and drop in a query into your own internal innerGoogle processorParser phrased like this: query(WHAT+IS+REALLY+GOING+ON+HERE?). Wait for an image to appear. Don’t try to force it. Don’t freak out at yourself if nothing happens. Just wait and record your results. Something will come up. It’s important that you record it, remember it and celebrate it. Okay, now go.

It’s not all that easy at times. In fact, it’s actually a good way to get your brain to shut up because it gets scared and tries to prevent you from thinking anything at all. That’s what happened to me just now. Allow me to share my results: my first image was a big “Y” shape. Which is totally unhelpful intellectually, right? But from doing this sort of thing often enough, I know I can loosely translate that shape into [FLUX CAPACITOR] like so:

This is, in fact, more or less how I have been generating these immense streams of images on my website over the past several months. Except I don’t always go through the formality of phrasing the questions anymore. I just sit and notice what images and symbols pop up in real life which have that magical “numinous” charge to them. And then I write those down. And then I find Google images (PS. Check out the Google Image Ripper) which match the basic vibrational frequency and then expand it into other realms of meaning, which then feed back into and modulate the basic symbolic flux of my life and soulbody energy centers. Do this often enough and you’ll know what I mean. I’m not actually speaking as dodgily as I probably sound to the “uninitiated.”

Anyway the next thing I asked was basically for clarification on what this “Y” shape was all about. And then I was shown a thin white cross against blackness, sort of like the point on a coordinate grid. Popping the numinousLuminous words “coordinate grid” into GIR, I come up with a lot of cool results. I selected this one for its “cool factor” which is basically how you have to do it.

It doesn’t really *look* like what I saw, but it captures the spirit of it somehow and has some cool mysterious words on it as well. Thinking about it more consciously now again, I recognize the thematic continuity between a “superluminal signal” and a “flux capacitor” which relates to time travel. Nevermind that the file name is “secondtransmission.png.” That sort of thing is always a good sign: when after you have picked corresponding images on a hunch, you then find lots of threads connecting them together.

In my inner imaging device, of course, the “Y” and the white coordinate cross overlaid against one another and began spinning. This is pretty common for me now: to see internal variously pointed shapes which spin in radial symmetry. When things have radial symmetry it is because they are [RADIATING] something. What are they radiating? I focused again and asked for a way to translate this energy to other people, to you guys.

And I was shown the front of a house. So let’s take that into the GIR and see what we can find:

Two images here caught my eye. I don’t know how to explain how to choose which images work. But just pick ones that “feel right” or “look interesting.” Don’t worry about why. It’s better not to until after the fact. After the fact, I can say why I like these: the first one is about building on an addition to a house (a place where people live) and the second seems to be a bunch of people gathering together in a house.

So I can sort of decode what my subconscious assembly language dealy is saying into something like:

[TIME TRAVEL] + [COORDINATES] = [BUILD GATHERING SECURITY PLACE]

That is, we are working collaboratively here to create what I’ve referred to in the past as a “time-bridge” or a “noographic space” which we can all share. I am showing you how to improve your house. Or rather, it is being shown to you through the vessel of me. And I am just trying to decipher the signal into your language as best I can right now. Retransmitting substations for God is all we are. The symbols are bigger than us. They interpenetrate all our lives if we cluster around them closely. This is why so many people email me saying that the things I posted online seemed to be directly about their life. Happens to me constantly now. It’s not that I’m magic (or not any more than anyone else). It’s just that I’m jacked into the Word, which is misleading because it doesn’t actually speak in “words.” It speaks in the structural units behind words, the Flame of the Pentecost. Which is why it can be translated into any form by he with the discernment to do so.

One other thing: because of the frequency with which I’ve begun to communicate with it, I will also often be able to decode these images I receive into songs and more importantly YouTube videos. The above information can be translated into this lovely video by Tom Waits, a video I’ve posted many times before because it crushes something deep in my heart. It crushes the “evil strawberry”:

Nice Bible passage that fits this as well (you will eventually see how your mind collapses into a self-referential hologram):

“In my Father’s house there are many resting-places. Were it otherwise, I would have told you; for I am going to make ready a place for you.”

What I’ve shown you here is, in my opinion, the basis of all art and spirituality: opening and maintaining and really TRUSTING in this dialogue until it becomes strong enough that it supersedes the other weaker stupider fragile parts of your mind and massively upgrades them all in one fell swoop, where you don’t actually lose anything, but gain everything. You gain an immensely deeper ability to FEEL and to LOVE. And through this you gain the certainty that comes from being jacked into Reality, into God’s own source within and without you. It is what they call the experience of “awe.”

I was also “instructed” this morning to pass along this video as well, for those of you who are the stubborn horses out there (and you know who you are - just ask your subsymbolic processors) who refuse to drink. While this appears to be a stereotypical grunge song, it is actually a paean sung to the Holy Spirit to come and fill the “black hole” of the heart so that the Fisher King may be healed and with him the land under the “sky looks dead”

Black hole sun
Wont you come
And wash away the rain
Black hole sun
Wont you come
Wont you come

This is another good one courtesy of the YouTube symbolic-correspondence-seeking algorithm:

There is going to be a day when all of this shit collapses together for you. When all of this shit collapses all together for all of us. It’s better that you go through it on your own right now, as soon as possible, rather than having to suffer through it collectively when computers begin to act as symbolic assembly language navigators of the heart mind body. Because then we will all just be pushed through the Creation Gate™ and it’s going to be a very messy birth. We need midwives.

Speaking of black hole suns and won’t you come, I thought I would leave you with one last symbolic blast here, which I culled yesterday. It’s a pretty big one and if you’re open to it could blast you apart. But it’s what you need, believe me. Or don’t believe me. Learn to use these and then tell me what happens to you after your heart becomes filled with [AWE].

• Semantic & Symbolic Codes
• Symbols as transformers of consciousness
• The mythological undertones of Freddy vs. Jason
• BIG.ELK: “Half A Mind” {Lyrics}
• Mystical & Occult Video Games