the timboucher experience

I look a lot smaller now. Now that I have shaved my beard and buzzed my head. Losing those fifty pounds in a couple months certainly adds to (or subtracts from?) the effect as well. It has been, I guess, something like 9 months since I have really seen myself. When I look in the mirror now it doesn’t look like me. It looks like somebody, but not me.

This morning I dreamt that someone was preparing me tacos. When they perceived the question on my heart, they replied that it was “unquestionable” which I take to be a favorable omen, and roughly the same as the “eternal” reply I received a few days ago. It feels like “unquestionable” is a lot more positive of a response than “unanswerable”. I take unquestionable to mean more like “undeniable” although I have all the proof of deniability I will ever really need.

Today I’m going to Vashon, supposedly, to play music. I am going to play bass, is how the story goes and his 8 year old son I think will play drums. He tried getting me to sing last night after I revealed I’d been in chorus for two years and the jazz choir, etc. But I wouldn’t do it. I wonder if my fear of singing in front of other people is associated with my fear of drowning. I don’t so much wonder as I know, actually. I dreamt also, I think, that a car full of women drove by me playing “Rough Boy” on their car stereo. I only fall in love with mermaids. Mermaids and witches. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

After they shaved my head last night (using a number 5 attachment from Vidal Sassoon - “If you don’t look good, we don’t look good.”) somebody talked about dreams where they bite off all their fingers they used to have in highschool. When I came back home there was this linked at the top of my email:

If the X-Finger looks like a prop from The Terminator, relax. It isn’t out to kill you, and it isn’t robotic. In fact, it’s a mechanical prosthetic finger so effective it provides articulation as fast and flexible as the real thing.

Invented by Dan Didrick of Naples, Florida, the device has no batteries, electronics, servos or actuators. Instead, each digit incorporates a simple mechanism which, when pushed by the surviving part of the wearer’s finger, curls a set of artificial phalanges.

Another good omen, I think. Things you cut off can grow back, can be replaced. Nothing to freak out about. Let yourself regenerate. It’s your body’s natural response to the Truth. Rebuilding and regrowing according to God’s original blueprint. I’m doing well enough for now, but it’s hard not to let the pair of docs paradox your senses: “The accidents (appearances) of the bread and wine do not change, but their substance changes from bread and wine to the Body and Blood of Christ.”

I heard that the Fourth is going to be interesting. It was weird to have him up here and see him out of context. To have the tables be turned. To have me not be the odd man out of the equation. I could go on about it but there’s no point. Guess you won’t get your Green Card now. Guess you can always learn how to tune the moon. It’s not actually that hard. I think the moon ought to be more of a character in the musical. She is spilling out all over the place now. The edges of her mirror have vanished. The ocean rises deep. The mermaids laugh at sinking ships and taunt the sailors with eternal life. But out of the East, a plane rises in triumph (the eagle returns) if only for a moment. God has shown me the way. It is straight and narrow and I have no choice but to follow. It’s called clarity and yeah it makes no sense. And that’s where Trust comes in. Or is that Faith? Doesn’t matter. All that matters is I follow it. I believe because it is ridiculous. Time and separation are meaningless. Powerful, but meaningless.

The African Ladies Who Follow You Around

• Throwing (burning) the baby (ghost) out with the bath water
• Fire dancing
• Foreign Aid
• Podcast 18: Understanding Synchronicity
• I had a dream