the timboucher experience

I want to keep running with this Jungian strand that I have going because it is really helping me put together tools to integrate and move past a lot of what has happened to me these past 8 months or so, nevermind more recently.

I have initiated a few different regular exercises which I have only been doing for a couple days but that have been helping a lot.

1. First of all, I am keeping up with my notebook wherein I record numinous moments, events, visions, word snippets, etc. That’s sort of the bedrock of everything and has been a ritual point of discipline for me to rally around for months, as well as a fascinating and sometimes disconcerting record of my own psyche.
2. Yesterday I bought a new blank skethcbook, 9 inches by 6 which I am using to make “mandalas” after an exercise Jung himself seems to have done daily during his “mystical freakout“. To him, mandalas were “symbols of wholeness”. To me they are basically magical pizzas onto which you put the toppings of your dream life. Each one is pretty simple. I start out with the core images from the most memorable or significant dream I had, draw them out very simply in lines, and incorporate in phrases from the dream, as well as some simple supporting and expansive words
3. Then I try to blow apart what each element of the dream “represents” using the “inner imaging engine” described in this post. I simply write down in my “numinosity notebook” what my question is in all caps. Something like “WHAT DOES THE CANTELOUPE REPRESENT?” and then close my eyes and wait for an image to pop, which I then pick apart and write down my subconscious responses until something “sticks.”
4. I have also been keeping a third notebook beside my bed to record dream imagery right after it happens; I usually wake up right after a significant dream. Unfortunately a lot of the details are lost in that hazy state, but it helps to have it right there in order to reconstruct it later for my magical pizza explorations.
5. The other thing I have been doing which has been helping a lot, which you’ll noticed if you read the comments, is I have been using a sort of primitive channeling technique after I write each of these posts on this website. I just let my vision fuzz and then scan down through the text in vertical columns for words that jump out at me. I don’t think about how they fit together, I just write them down in 3-5 or so word clusters, one per each line. Then I allow myself to go back through what was written, look at what it seems to be saying, hammer it into a bit of an interpretive form, and then go from there. Developing that skill has been exceptionally helpful because - as Jung says somewhere - these unconscious archetypes do not have the highly developed speech centers that the ego does. So you have to sort of give them permission to piggyback if you want to pull actual words out of them instead of images. What you’re likely to end up with is sort of a choppy quasi-poetic text which - invariably - has good information in it which you need and which some part of you is secretly transmitting on another layer. I will continue to do this exercise publicly in the hopes that other people will get acquainted with that sort of communication with their own subconscious minds.

Beyond that I wanted to capture here a couple interesting moments from dreams the past two days and give their “symbolic backgrounds” or something (which my ‘channeled’ poetically condensed subconscious thingies advised me to do).

The first one was a dream in which my “Leonard” (inside joke) is giving me advice. (I’ve heard it helps to record dreams in present tense for some reason). We are in a dark room, possibly a cave. He is wearing all blue, which is typical. There may be some kind of hanging fruit or something growing in the dark space. He tells me that “virgin canteloupes” are better than “pot-bellied” ones. I remember distinctly a nice fresh canteloupe as well as what looks like a giant rotting seed pod of some kind on the ground. It is dark red and very fleshy looking. It’s almost as though the “virgin canteloupe” came out of this larger seed pod fruit thing - like it was the pit or the core of it, and needed to be birthed from it.

Keywords that came up through inner imaging associated with this dream:

- Inside of mouth (cavity)
- Sweetness
- Jonah & the whale
- Purple dress (robes, possibly vestments)
- Blades of green grass (I wrote next to that: “He who has grown”)
- Stove (pot-bellied, furnace, alchemical crucible)
- Egret, ibis, stork, pelican
- “Lightning seed causes tree to grow”
- Stop trying to eat rotting fruit seed pod container thing. It’s purpose was to nourish the development of the “virgin canteloupe” which *is* good to eat.
- A golden face called “Time” which is radiating waves of light from itself
- Advised devotion to Virgin of Guadalupe during this period (play on “virgin canteloupe”)

So when I went to sleep last night I held in my mind’s eye the classic image of the Virgin of Guadalupe and concentrated on it as best I could for as long as I could. Which is easier said than done.

Oh, I forgot also that I did an inner imaging engine exercise on the other dream I described yesterday about the thwarted pizza house robbery. You may remember that in it, one of the avengers who took away the robber dropped a set of car keys which I tried to give back to him but which they didn’t notice. So I presume the keys were meant for me. So I asked what the keys were for, and received the image of:

A portal, a stone doorway leading out into a high mountain vista courtyard or porch opening onto beautiful scenery. The arch of the door is built out of two stone angel statues who are facing one another and their wings reach together to form the vault of the arch.

Which felt like an extremely positive image to receive. In retrospect it reminds me of one of the scenes in the second Matrix, which incidentally involves the “Keymaker” I think. Don’t quite remember the scene but they are going through magic doors in a hallway and end up at a somewhat similar mountain vista. If anybody remembers this scene or can find me a YouTube clip, that’d be awesome.

Anyway, that image felt like one of “completion” to me, so instead of querying further I asked what my next challenge is. And I was shown:

A drawing in the style of Gustave Dore or possibly older, medieval, of a woman wearing a hooded robe. She is seated in a room with an open door and window behind her. She is leaned over and gently cradling a large egg or stone (or a large stone egg).

Expanding that into associated keywords and images:

- Phoenix
- Roc
- Dinosaur egg
- Philosopher’s Stone
- Anima priestess
- Virgin Mary
- Annunciation
- Manger, pregnancy, incubation period
- Chicken egg roost nest hatching

This image seems to me to be a fairly direct communication from some inner female anima archetypal character. Her robes also seem to reference the “purple dress” of a previous imaging exercise (purple being a royal, imperial and priestly color). She seems to be there to protect and to love and to keep warm whatever is “incubating” within me: in Jungian terminology, the hatching of the Greater Self, etc.

Anyway that’s one set of dreams. I had another last night which was much more overtly related to an anima figure, which I will try to detail later and expand on. Some of these images below relate to that set of dreams, but it doesn’t really matter. The subconscious doesn’t work according to time or linear order like that, so I may as well just seed them out there anyway and see what comes home to roost. Off to lunch!

• Cool tools for school
• Bucky’s Ephemeralization
• No more
• Street Art Maps
• Trapped!