I know it sounds full of shit but I would hope by this point that you’d expect it. But I wanted to say something about the Truth. And how the Truth changes you. And that’s another way to recognize the Truth in its many forms. The Truth always changes you. You aren’t what you were before. Something hidden has been revealed. Deeds done in secret have a way of being found out. Out of the darkness of your shy heart opening out piles and piles of coins. Pillars on either side of the Temple door.

The Fall in the Garden happened because Adam loved Eve more than he loved God. God’s commandment to him not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge was a warning: don’t unplug yourself from me. I am the final and ultimate source. But Eve, the flesh of his flesh, the body of his own body, resonated more warmly and sweet in his hands. I love you, O Lord. But in this woman who lies before me the final beauty of all your creation lies. And I follow only that and I live by only that Truth. Beloved devotion, O man. The hills sing your name. The birds in the sky and the beasts of the earth cry out only for you: to be seen and enjoyed. And in your love I live, O God, but in the love of woman, your creation, I find my rest. And rest you shall, O my son, for she shall be your death. And by her side shall you die day by day until they lay you in the ground in final rest. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? *Swallow*

And thus the placing of any thing above God, even if it be God’s own beloved divine reflection emanating through the spheres in song, is to lose God. For to splice any length of wire in between your connection to God is to distance yourself from him. And to do it in one small way is to do it infinitely for will is what makes it go. The decision makes it so. I WILL I WILL I AM I GO. I am William, amigo.

Love is two souls continually recognizing each other once again anew in the Light of God.

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?’ or “What shall we drink?’ or “What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

The way back to the Garden, therefore, past the seraphim with the flaming sword at the gate is to submit in all things to God. St. Teresa of Avila was stabbed repeatedly in the heart by an angel bearing a lance and the beautiful spiritual pain of God. If while you are being stabbed and tortured heated in the furnace teeth gnashed at you in the lion’s den if you submit in all things to God, then you will be with God in all things and he within the fiery lion furnace of your heart. Trusting in something invisible is of course a pain in the ass. I can’t say you should do it if you don’t already understand why. You may have to first reach a place where you completely give up. I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s the place I have reached but I am learning to trust and I have not been failed. I have not been let down. You will not fall. I go beside you always. In the pits of blackness and despair I am there watching over you and waiting for you to be finished with what you are putting yourself through and to come home and rest in my arms when you are ready. I want you to be ready but it’s only through the punctuated bars of time that we are able to finally glimpse and rest in eternity. I am too scared to trust in you, O God, because I have been let down so many times in the past when I thought I walked in your light and your friendship. Yet you did not trust in me fully. My light and my glory filled your heart and you believed you were the source of it, your goodness, your worthiness. You are good and you are worthy. But all good things come from me. Stay plugged into me alone. I am the source. I will not let you down. You will not fall. Trust in me and fear no more. Sacrifice your doubts upon my cross. Offer up your pain and anger and hatred on my pitiful wracked form writhing in death before all of Creation.