I’m getting it back. Getting back to that place I was in before. That dwelling place. That place of homecoming. That temple that makes everything holy that you touch. Not there yet not quite I still feel the fear pulling me. You get close to it though in these weird overlapping tangential orbits. I can almost see the math of it in my head. A giant body with rings wobbling on their axes. Their circles enfold us like wings descending from the ionosphere.

Tomorrow I start with the hopening of new horizons as I go off for a sailing adventure which will take me through to the beginning of August. It will be a test of my ability to stay in that dwelling place and not shunt it off through fear or other stupid circumstances. That dwelling place is an easy thing to push out of you. Most people do it most of the time. Most of our time is spent trying to wedge something between that place of magnetism which draws us towards it like moths to the flaming sword of Jung’s SelfGod guardianing the way back unto Eden and ourselves. For if we draw too close to it we know we will be forced to change because it confronts us only and endlessly with our own essence the Truth of Our Being™.

Noone ever talks about how with salvation comes great responsibility: the responsibility of being only and always fully yourself.

Becoming like glass.

That’s what I’m working on: same on the inside and out. The two become one (so that the One can really become One). Not for just an hour. Not for just a day. Not just a year. Always. Call me crazy. Or don’t call me anything. Don’t call me, in fact. I’ll call you. I will call you by your True & Holy Name™ and you’ll reach out your hand gently crystallized around you condensing out of circumstances. We are talking about manipulating the computer of plenty controlling the reality of your enfleshed existence so that you are no longer giving it conflicting sets of commands and it can read your intentions perfectly and give you final and complete access to what is your real heaven. This is a real thing. This is not conjecture. It’s physical. It lasts. It is continuous. It can be reached in your lifetime and you won’t taste death. Might might still die, but you at least won’t taste it.

I think when they talk about Jesus being “without sin” what they mean is that he didn’t devote emotional energy to mistakes he made. They talk about sin being a distancing from God. And the best way to distance yourself from someone is to begin believing that one or both of you have done something wrong. Not sure which belief is worse: probably that you did something wrong. Tends to be more self-destructive. That may not mean, however, that nobody did nothing wrong because they we you me may have. It means that the “sin” of it doesn’t cling to you and then accumulate and impede on your experience of life. That is, you make amends and move on instead of holding on forever. “Forgive is for to give. Forget is for to get.” I am really beginning to understand how that works. So damned hard to throw those money changers out though. Or rather to keep them out when things get bad. So much easier just to keep tabs on who said what and who did what and how much you’re going to make them suffer for it.

Shit, I guess that’s the thing then, isn’t it? If sinning is being distanced from God, then you can “sin” just as much by being hurt as by hurting someone else. That is, the only thing really wrong is the clinging to the wrong of the action, instead of allowing the moment to flow through and around you to give and to forgive and to follow allow. That’s not to say there is no such thing as moral standards though of treating people right. But that you should be an active and positive struggle as opposed to a recursive distancing. That’s what sin is, a recursion, a fractal hall of mirrors that endlessly repeats and traps you within it until you simply step away and the illusion is broken its stranglehold over you. The thing about that dwelling place is that when it happens to you, you can’t peg it on a person or a thing or a circumstance. Because it’s just Grace. You don’t really ever know what you could have done to deserve this totally completely awe-some state but here it is now don’t wreck it by being a dick.

PS. I won’t be around my email or phone for the next two-three weeks. If I don’t get back to you before then, that’s why. Same commenting rules will be running while I’m gone, so some may get held in moderation.