PS. Thanks for writing about The Fountain a ways back. I rented it and enjoyed it very much.

4. Following a presumed “arrived” master is the best way to get there

I think that type of thing really helped me find my true center. But I can get really ignorant and get on rabbbit trails, but still I’ve gained a lot of ground.

I think I know what the ego is and what my true center is and I am further along in identifying with my true center than I thought. I think I what you said about memory is a good point. There can be little worms that worm there way back in and the chewing analogy is good.

But anyway, your true center is better than your ego. Feeling good about it isn’t “having a big ego”

http://www.hermetic.com/wisdom/images/Otb.gif

Wanted the Beach Boys version, but oh well.

You’re asking good questions Ted, but is it always good to ask questions? I know that sounds like a bullshit answer.

But looking back I misunderstood what the ego was. But I think when I was misunderstanding it, I was still farther along than I thought. There is some stuff in the philosophy of non-dualism that is really bad and has a horrible misunderstanding of what the ego is. So I think because of that I was really suspicious of any teacher talking about getting rid of the ego.

But anyway, this is good stuff.

If people have a hard time figuring you out, its hard to get feedback from others as to who you are. But its just identities people pin on you anyhow.

But If you get conflicting feedback, negative feedback, it gives an impetus to find your true center.

Are we reading the same passage?

“Ego is always shaken, always in search of food, that somebody should appreciate it. That’s why you continuously ask for attention.

You get the idea of who you are from others.

It is not a direct experience.

It is from others that you get the idea of who you are. They shape your center. This center is false, because you carry your real center. That is nobody’s business. Nobody shapes it.

You come with it.

You are born with it.”

It looks to me like this is saying that the ego is a false center we build through others opinions of us. What did I miss? Is it not saying that?

So I was thinking having all kinds of conflicting feedback, might not be a bad thing. If the ego is a false center anyway.

And also, I was thinking having a desire to fight against people you percieve as trying to erase your individuality might be a good thing.

I’ve always had this fear of engaging on some religious path that entails “ego death” with some teacher that doesn’t really know what they are doing. It seems like there is this assumption that everyone has a really strong identification with their ego some say “false ego” and that they need to get rid of it.

But what if this ego or false center never really developed to begin with?

It seems like that little girl with the flower power, knows the deal. As she gets older people will try to pin an identity on her, maybe she will succumb and create this ego, this false center, but maybe she won’t. Maybe she will fight it.

If she does and retains more of a sense of her true self later in life, starting at square one, doing exercizes to get rid of the ego might be counter productive.

what if a person, was really hard for people around them to figure out?

Would that person have no ego?

No, that person would just be hard to figure out, right? Not having an ego is not having an ego. I don’t know quite what that means, but it means something. It means what it means.

You are really giving me insight on the ego. It’s really been a hard concept for me to figure out. I’ve always feared that my ego was my individual identity and that all these religious paths want to destroy peoples individuality.

I am thinking that isn’t really the case, but maybe for some people it is.

but let me ask you a question, if the ego is this false center people create based on others image of them, what if a person, was really hard for people around them to figure out?

Would that person have no ego?

Because of this chaos, you are afraid to lose the ego. But it has to be so. One has to pass through the chaos before one attains to the real center.

And if you are daring, the period will be small.

A big part of “surviving” this period is having tools, or knowledge that leads to knowing. A bit like the archetypes that Jung knew to give to patients who were inevitably headed for a crash.

I think Tim is a fracti-shaman. I don’t think full shamans truly exist anymore, not even in the so-called remnant shamanistic societies. I think most folks that are drawn to Tim’s works are fetal fracti-shamans. Fracti-shamans dispense valuable tools to those tuned to a similar learning frequency, and there also may be a kind of catalyst effect at work also but this effect is only accessible to those who are striving on a similar compass heading (oscillatory resonance). The best fracti-shamans, for me, teach in the manner labeled “crazy wisdom”. They don’t give out their teachings too easily, because then we really wouldn’t learn it. There has to be some sweat involved, i.e. you have to run the horse, to learn how to counter the matrix’s horse moves. You need to become a cavalier, deft in defensive strategy. There are different kinds of spiritual warriors. There is a difference between being and beeing. Bees sting if provoked, beings know how to wield their shield to protect themselves. Defensive strength to ward off the stroke.

As knowledge gives way to knowing, anger gives way to striving. Striving on the impossible dream quest. Anger does not go away, it is just transmuted before it comes to the surface, because the student/knight has no use for the anger manifestation any longer. It is a somewhat primitive tool that one outgrows.

Gnosticky

Great imagery. Particularly, I find some of the main stream Gnostic writing on the net these days as “predatory”. I read through lots of syrupy smooth stuff (sticky, hah) and think “wow, very cool” and then every once in a while there is a slip, and the nasty underbelly shows it’s self very briefly, and I am shocked, and try and sweep it under the rug, but it just keeps bubbling up. It is really there. Brings to mind “wolf in sheep’s clothes”.

Lot’s of high potency information given here. Best to really think about this little disclaimer inserted in the document, I can’t find it right now, but it says something like:

“they are allowing you access to this information at this time. Think about this”

Yes, yes, yes, yes, think about this.

It takes work to separate the wheat from the chaff. The big lie from the small truths.

Ego is always shaken, always in search of food, that somebody should appreciate it. That’s why you continuously ask for attention.

You get the idea of who you are from others.

It is not a direct experience.

It is from others that you get the idea of who you are. They shape your center. This center is false, because you carry your real center. That is nobody’s business. Nobody shapes it.

You come with it.

You are born with it.

So you have two centers. One center you come with, which is given by existence itself. That is the self. And the other center, which is created by the society, is the ego. It is a false thing - and it is a very great trick. Through the ego the society is controlling you. You have to behave in a certain way, because only then does the society appreciate you. You have to walk in a certain way; you have to laugh in a certain way; you have to follow certain manners, a morality, a code. Only then will the society appreciate you, and if it doesn’t, you ego will be shaken. And when the ego is shaken, you don’t know where you are, who you are.

The others have given you the idea.

That idea is the ego.

Try to understand it as deeply as possible, because this has to be thrown. And unless you throw it you will never be able to attain to the self. Because you are addicted to the center, you cannot move, and you cannot look at the self.

And remember, there is going to be an interim period, an interval, when the ego will be shattered, when you will not know who you are, when you will not know where you are going, when all boundaries will melt.

You will simply be confused, a chaos.

Because of this chaos, you are afraid to lose the ego. But it has to be so. One has to pass through the chaos before one attains to the real center.

And if you are daring, the period will be small.

If you are afraid, and you again fall back to the ego, and you again start arranging it, then it can be very, very long; many lives can be wasted.