In the event of my irrational death, I have made notes in one of my small black notebooks about who to contact, how my belongings should be divided up, and what to do with my website. I was, for a few days, loathe to undertake this task, thinking it better not to invoke the taboo of death against myself. But in so doing I have gained a peace and acceptance with things as they are. If they stop here, then I will have had no regrets whatsoever. If they continue to move forward, I will continue to celebrate each moment to its absolute fullest and will share that celebration with those around me.

I think that’s the best honoring of Murphy’s Law one can undertake. You’re immortal now.

His sword was his word.

When I was studying up on Shakespeare, I learned that all those “’struth”s and “’sblood”s were shortened versions of “God’s truth” and “God’s blood”. And, these words being in Shakespeare, they were right by the word “sword”. No apostrophe, but maybe there was at some time. His sword was his word, and a sword is his word? I’m not even an amateur linguist, so it could just be a coincidence. But this really struck me.

the artist/monk can subsist physically and still function. in fact it seems as if lowering food intake enhances those functions.

as i age the will to athleticism will wane and so maybe then i can focus on the artistic/spiritual dimension more comprehensively. but for now, the battle must be enjoined.

regarding marriage and children after divorce. as a man we don`t make that decision. the woman does. when you meet her, you will both know.

What I think it is is that if you have a wife and kids, there is basically one barave thing you can do and that is provide for and protect your family.

It does tie you to the world though. You can’t just walk away from a job you don’t like, or run off fighting for some cause and get killed. I mean, you can but its harder. That is my thought on it.

I am thinking about this becaise I am divorced and have no kids and am wondering If I ever want to get married again and have kids.

jwx; it’s pretty powerful to be able to create an empty spot in a stranger by asking a common question.

History and martial arts wrapped together

I keep thinking of this and chuckling, thanks, so true.

Also, caught your “4 minutes ” reply and responded.

first, there is the obvious case of food helping to cover for discomfort (comfort food)

and second, the brain runs on pure glucose, so if we are stuck in thought loops, anxiety, panic or any such runaway brain activity, the brain is burning alot of sugar and starts to give off self preservation signals, demanding more food, especially simple carbs. For me, I crave coke (the cola type) and white flower baked goods.

The second part is just my theory.

I’ve felt similar things. I feel like I can accept the inevitability of death…well, my own, anyway. Not the method perhaps (but who knows?) Maybe that moment of death is lick flicking a switch, and before you know it, you’ve already chosen.

the space between the tightest space you can imagine, is what I’m thinking.

But the aspect of children and/or a wife throws it for me a bit. it’s frustrating.

Some days I feel like a willfully tricky fish, able to wiggle and squirm through the current of everyday reality, unchecked and unseen….

…and other days I feel like a block of cement tied to a sunken rowboat filled with iron ore, lamenting on the floor of the crappy creek that the current of reality flows over.

unless they are samuri also.

which would have it`s own problems.

i am in a seperation battle with my ex over money and custody of the children. she has refused to amicably settle so i am forced to persue the issue through the courts.

what would a samuri do?

i will not put my thoughts in this regard into writing.

But I can truly say, I am not afraid to die and the other thing is I don’t care if i ever become rich.

those are the main ways people can be controlled, fear and greed.

I only have one life to give though. So I want to make it count. It’s not somthing to throw away. So that goes back to finding out what you said earlier, What works best, what is the best possible?

What do you think about having a wife and kids though? compatible with samuri life?