When you are actually forced to abandon hints and say what you mean, you have to really look at yourself.

Perfect. Other people say what I mean so much better than I can.

59. Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him.

60. Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!

I’ve learned alot at my job working with mentally disabled people. In our society, we tend to think of people who “can’t take a hint” as being worse off somehow than those who can, but being with these people in the world tells me its not the case at all. They ignore all nuance and hints, and are treated as more, not less, powerful for it. I started to do the same, ignoring “hints” anybody drops and I found it works.
The thing about a king is that they are soveriegn, meaning they just don’t give a shit. And the thing about hints and nuance is that they are about plausible deniability, a cover people use because they are afraid. Its in this cowardly cave of not being able to say what you want that makes the assholism grow. When you are actually forced to abandon hints and say what you mean, you have to really look at yourself. If I have to tell a DD person they stink and to take a shower, the thing that makes it seem cruel is the opinion I have, that they should [i]already know[/i], that they should have the same opinions of me. If a DD person is singing, and it sounds terrible, by commenting on it openly I would be forced to confront my own arrogant assumption that its being done to entertain me, rather than because it makes the other person feel happy.
So yes, we should be an asshole. But we shouldn’t kid ourselves that its for the benefit of the other person, the truth is its for the benefit of ourselves.

(1) you identify those thoughts as somehow something innate to you
(2) you have some sort of moral guilt over the having of these thoughts and actively repress them.

Now while getting shit of your chest will undoubtedly save you from wounding yourself, i guess whether it avoids wounding the other all depends upon whether the second party believes that assholism is innate to human nature. If so then, if that second party has any sense of self-worth and half a brain - then no harm done…he/she would mentally note…ASSHOLE…and move on to the next one..However, for those who believe otherwise, and believe in the inherent purity of the human vessel, maybe can even see the cause and effects of where it all went wrong…it becomes harder to let go…they would suffer for other’s sins as they do their own…perhaps, unhealthily taking their sins upon them in addition to their own…thats why i love the quote by plato i put up before…its like a code of conduct for how to drop the extreme cases of assholism, deal gracefully with those who are only social assholes, and perhaps slowly reduce my own assholism.

that being an insensitive asshole (which i think is interchangeable with the word “honest” in that article)

Obviously, this is not what he is saying - although I appreciate the distinction you are making. What he is talking about is expressing the Real Truth, so that you are not constantly projecting your hidden thoughts and feelings on other people and wounding them and yourself in the process. If you’re at least up front about “being an asshole” then you’re giving people access to your real self (as well as giving yourself the opportunity to simply let those things go and move on) and empowering other people to use their Free Will. Nobody wants to hang out with an asshole. Shit will quickly clear itself out.

Wrote more about this myself the other day:

http://www.timboucher.com/journal/2007...rds-a-more-sophisticated-gangsterism/

PS. Brit, if you see this, drop me your email address. I couldn’t find it on your site and your comments seemed to be broken! I have a gift for you.

“Those who belong to this small class have tasted how sweet and blessed a posession philosophy is, and have also seen enough of the madness of the multitude; and they know that no politician is honest, nor is there any champion of justice at whose side they may fight and be saved. Such an one may be compared to a man who has fallen among wild beasts– he will not join in the wickedness of his fellows, but neither is he able singly to resist all their fierce natures, and therefore seeing that he would be of no use to the State or to his friends, and reflecting that he would have to throw away his life without doing any good either to himself or others, he holds his peace, and goes his own way. He is like one who, in the storm of dust and sleet which the driving wind hurries along, retires under the shelter of a wall; and seeing the rest of mankind full of wickedness, he is content, if only he can live his own life and be pure from evil or unrighteousness, and depart in peace and good-will, with bright hopes.” - Plato

As David Icke says, people don’t set up inquiries that could destroy them. Which is why when someone does, you can be sure of one of 2 things: they are either fools or genuine truth seekers, and i think in this day and age the one often implies the other…

This is so super awesome:

http://britwolfson.com/2007/09/06/hone...-the-fastest-policy-to-enlightenment/

(found by way of Ted)

You have mean thoughts about your lover, your family, your friends, and random people on the street every single day of your life. Deny this and well, maybe it’s time to read someone else’s blog. So you have all these mean thoughts going on all the time and often, you have the same mean thoughts about the same person regularly. Like, your voice is so annoying when you sing that I have to leave the room. Stuff like that. Well, here’s a novel idea. Tell the person your meanest thoughts about them. Tell them all the things you don’t like about them. Just get it all out on the table.

And you know what you find. You find it’s fucking scary. You find it’s the scariest thing you have ever done in your life, especially if you are a “nice” or “spiritual” person. And the reason that it’s scary is that this willingness to be honest signals a willingness to let go of the person. You are finally accepting them as they are. Rather than accepting a part of them and hiding your hatred of all of their annoying parts, you are actually taking them in at face value. They actually know exactly what you think of them. And they are then in a more empowered place to choose how they want the relationship to continue, or to change, or to disappear.

By the way, I only recently found this blog but I like it.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/1jm6ne