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Play Chess Against Yourself
I try to play at least one game of chess against myself every day. That is, one “official” game with a board and pieces and everything. I’ve taken to playing chess in most all things now; it is a way of life: strategy. And strategy is nothing more than elegance, poetry and the ability to make good choices and act effectively upon them.
Playing chess against yourself forces you to think through the implications of moves. Since you know what the other guy is going to do, you’re not trying to operate against secret or hypothetical knowledge (ie, poker), but what is actually available, possible and readily apparent on the chess board. All the cards on the chess board are “face up,” in that regard.
The main drawback to playing against yourself is that it can become a monoculture. You may not be seeding with new ideas and possibilities of how to play and what kind of strategies exist out there to avail yourself of. The other problem is error-checking. One of the best learning tools in actual chess is when you go to make a move and your opponent won’t let you. You look at the board, and say “what?” You don’t see it. Then they point out that is an illegal move because it exposes your king. This hard check against your own failures of judgement is part of what makes games fun in the first place. In a larger sense, it is what makes other people and “objective reality” so damned important in the first place.
When you play chess against yourself though what you realize that chess is all about is that you play the board, you don’t just play your side.
September 15th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
I think you definately are a Narcissist.
Have you heard of NPA personality theory?
stands for
Narcissism
Perfectionism
Aggression.
Everyone is either a narcissist or an agressive type. Some are all three. I am NA, I suspect you are either N or NP or NPA.
About the chorus thing. I think if you sing in the chorus you end up singing someone elses song.
September 15th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
I think that is a limiting way of looking at things. You can be what you want to be. Your life and personality and what you believe about yourself don’t need to be boiled down into ‘types’
Anyway, I prefer to call it Self-Mastery. It is a positive/constructive word choice in that you can build and grow from it, rather than be limited and labeled
September 15th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
This individual obviously has a concurrent combination of all three of the behavioral complexes: glory, perfection and power. We would expect the following qualities: narcissistic ambition, perfectionistic attention to detail and sense of duty, and the aggressive need for triumph through power.
I wonder about the Agression thing but the NPA profile seems to fit you more than the NP profile. Of course I have never met you.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Yeah, I think you can be what yo want to be, but there are still dynamics. I don’t think these types are carved in stone, people can move around in them, but I think there is somthing to them.
Narcissism is a bad word, in common parlance but not according to this theory.
Its not about “Narcissistic Peraonality Disorder” and I wasn’t using it in a pejorative sense with you. I guess you can say everyone can achieve self mastery, but some people like singing in the chorus. I happen to think the dynamic of NPA would make self master more likely.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
The words you use to describe yourself and your life very heavily control your experience of it by the creation of unconscious assumptions and associations. We must always be vigilant that we speak not only the Truth, but the Truth in the simplest and most effective manner possible.
Your interpretation of what I am doing is your interpretation. It doesn’t necessarily need to impact “me” (the universal “me”) as a person. We each have the right and responsibility to decide for ourselves how and why we live and feel.
Not trying to deliver this speech to you, Ted, so much as to others who would stumble upon this exchange and not understand the context of the story being told between us.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Tim,
I don’t think its a secret you are narcissistic. Everyone who stumbles on here will see it. I don’t see it as a bad thing and I don’t think other people would either.
Anyone who keeps their own company and sings there own song is a narcissist. These are often the people that accomplish stuff and end up contributing to humanity, more than the chorus singers.
I didn’t think you would take it like this. You were even joking about how you like to gloat about how clever you are!
Well anyway Tim, I think you are really taking off in your self mastery stuff.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Ted, I’m not “taking it” like anything. I’m just making statements about purpose and the focusing of intention which I hope act as examples for people struggling with these issues. I think this, in particular, is an extremely important issue which is why I delivered (and stand by) the response I gave.
I recognize that people can and do see me as narcissistic. What are the roots in a person’s own life which would cause them (not you, I’m just saying) to pejoratively call other people that? It may be that people are fearful of and envious of those who find ways to fully express their intentions and persons.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Maybe they haven’t integrated their shadow. And or they may be Narcissists themselves. Plus people have in idea of scarcity. Steve Pavlina wrote about this recently, jealousy is caused by a belief in scarcity.
But anyway, Everyone is either Narcissistic or Agressive. Aggression can be expressed negatively as passive aggression, sycophantry etc.
I classify myself as NA according to this theory. NPA is actually a cool way to be. European Royalty often had this personality dynamic.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
The P “perfectionism” modulates the “N” and the “A”
September 15th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
I don’t know if this describes Tim or not but it sure describes two of my bosses. I saw a little of myself in there too. I get your point about it not being Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Those people don’t announce themselves until they’ve infiltrated your life.
Yeah, these are the happy destroying servants of the tyrants.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
No Ted, this is simply not a True statement.
September 15th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
It’s not true because it’s so incomplete. sure, we all possess and sometimes display each of those characteristics, but also their opposites, at different times, in different situations with different people and so on and so forth. I see us all as somewhat like the Children of Dune in a sense, only rarely conscious of it. What I don’t understand is, if everyone is narcissistic, why bring it up, specifically in reference to Tim?
I think anyone writing a blog will appear more narcissistic than ‘normal’ simply for the fact that they’re externalizing all that inner dialog via writing on the internet. I think the inner dialog of most people is at least as self-focused, just kept private. also, in doing this, ‘blogging’ everything, he’s aware of having an audience and so he has to also make it, at least some of the time, useful or relevant in some way to others. So at least he’s putting his ‘narcissism’ to constructive use. Imagine if everyone did that…
But not everyone is comfortable enough with the narcissistic aspect of their human nature. I know I’m not, yet. But so often, what appears as modesty or humility is just an act (not necessarily a conscious one) to cover up what’s really just fear of exposing oneself to others, due to lack of confidence in the validity of one’s point of view, feelings, choices, whatever. This is normal and understandable in this society, and deserving of some sympathy, but not of admiration (or condemnation of the opposite).
Anyway Ted, I don’t think you were condemning anything, but I do have to agree that making the statement that everyone is narcissistic and aggressive is kind of pointless and a limited way of looking at people. We’re a lot more than that.
September 16th, 2007 at 1:01 am
http://tracyrtwyman.com/blog/?page_id=78
September 16th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Basically its incomplete because I couldn’t cut and paste the whole website.
September 16th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
BTW, Jesus was a Narcissist. What a Messianic complex he had!
September 16th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Hey Julia,
Tracy R. Twyman is may favorite author, that is also a reptilain from the dragon bloodline!
Cool!
September 16th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Brooke, to more specifically answer your question, I didn’t say everyone was a narcissist, I said according to this theory everyone is either an Aggressive or Narcissistic type.
Why Tim? Because I thought the post about playing Chess with yourself really displayed his narcissistic traits. But anyway, it sounds bad, I guess to people, so it didn’t come out like I meant it to. But I think supressing these traits of aggression and Narcissism is not neccessarily good.
I look at it like this. Why the hell would anyone think they can make a name for themselves in the world and accomplish great things? It would take a healthy amount of narcissism to even think that way, it would take more to begin to actually do it.
if a person, that also happens to be very insightful and creative, like Tim, were to say that “No, that’s being narcissistic.” the world would be poorer.
I also think aggression expressed in a healthy way can lead to accomplishing really positive things, supressed that is bad too.
if a person has traits of Narcissism and Aggression being expressed in a healthy way, and also traits of Perfectionism, they have the potential of coming up with the perfect plan and then executing it. Such people can be truly great.
September 16th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
It doesn’t matter if something “sounds bad” so much as it matters if it is “The Truth.”
The only way to “be great” or “powerful” or “make a name for yourself” is by aligning yourself with the Truth. And then you understand that none of this comes from you, but flows through you from the Truth.
September 16th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Right, I agree. that is why “false modesty” is bad. It cheats God.
September 16th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
So Tim, Do you see yourself as being “aligned with capital ‘T’ truth?
Do you see yourself as a living conduit through which this (T)ruth can flow?
Do you see how seeing yourself that way can be construed as narcissistic?
Is it narcissistic if its true?
September 16th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Ted, you’re asking me how I see myself so that you can make a judgement about me for your own perception, and then act as though it were based not simply on your own judgement. In essence, you are seeking me to act as an external qualifier for an assumption which you already have. I will neither support or deny your statements; it is up to you alone to make that decision and to deal with the consequences of how you manage or fail to manage your own perceptions.
Mark 15:2 “And Pilate asked him, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answering said unto them, Thou sayest it.”
http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html
September 16th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Speaking of narcissism, where is Google deriving this image next to Pop Occulture from?
http://screencast.com/t/xVyg7hitTr
Does that appear for other people’s search results?
September 16th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Tim,
You are making me laugh. You just compared yourself to Jesus being questioned by Pontius Pilate and all his disciples.
If I was just wanting to screw with you I could have a ball here.
September 16th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Ted, I am here to make people laugh. Laughing is one of the best things you can do in life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Fool
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jester
I guess I’m supposed to consider myself “lucky” somehow that you’re not here to “screw with me”, huh?
September 16th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Are the two of you brothers and just weren’t told by your parents?
September 16th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I consider Ted my brother, yes. He is that aspect of myself which I play chess against, and I am his. Through our mutual TRUTH EXCHANGE we both learn to master ourselves.
September 16th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Yeah, you are lucky. And I am not trying to screw with you. But having marcy on you injures your pride I guess so maybe I should have just just screwed with you.
Too late now though cause now I ruined the element of surprise.
September 16th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Lord Have marcy!
September 16th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Yeah, I am your brother but hopefully not like Joseph’s brother or Jacob’s brother!
September 16th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
You never had the element of surprise.
September 16th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
That’s because I wasn’t trying to screw with you.
BTW, I let you beat me at chess somtimes.
September 16th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Edinger’s Ego & Archetype says it better than I seem to be able to:
There is a difference between being centered and being self-centered.
September 16th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
And:
September 16th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
That’s actually what I was trying to say in the first post.
September 16th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
That’s what I get out of NPA theory. that is “how to be more effectively selfish and more effective in the use of their own personal power; they need to accept responsibility for the fact of being centers of power and effectiveness.”
That’s how I look at it. Its not a theory used to describe pathology.
September 16th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
You were not being precise in your language though. I knew what you *meant* though all along.
Chess.
September 16th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Ha ha ha. You got me.
September 16th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Totally agree.
I love it when you two go at it like this. : )
September 16th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
:)
September 20th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
[…] One of the things I’ve discovered as a writer treading very “out there” subject areas is that people - in general - get anxious when they don’t know how to take something, or how to respond appropriately to your words or actions. This is perfectly normal and understandable because the whole fun of communicating and interacting with people is that it is a two way street. While you can learn a lot by “playing chess with yourself” (metaphorically and literally), you’ll never enjoy it quite as much as you will playing with other people. […]
February 4th, 2008 at 12:16 am
[…] Yesterday I played the first game of chess against myself that I have played in a while. When I first wrote about this, some argued that you can’t meaningfully play chess against yourself. I’ve never argued that it’s the *same* as having an opponent, but I still stand by its usefulness as an exercise. It trains you to look at the total board, to evaluate the best possible moves and counter-moves for each player at every instant. I think yesterday I must have achieved some kind of new high/low with the whole thing. I played myself to a draw, a complete stand-still. The only time this has ever happened in regular chess matches was in a game I played against someone who my girlfriend at the time said looked like me. […]