Been reading through a collection of Gandhi’s thoughts on a variety of subjects, entitled “All Men Are Brothers.” It is one of those texts through which the luminosity of the life behind it clearly shines through. I never knew much about his personal life before this, and the book is very revealing in the excerpts it includes.
Though happily married, at the age of 36, Gandhi took the vow of brahmacharya, among the requirements of which is celibacy. He writes: “I think it is the height of ignorance to believe that the sexual act is an independent function necessary like sleeping or eating.” And of his choice to take the vow:
I had not shared my thoughts with my wife until then, but only consulted her at the time of taking the vow. She had no objection. But I had great difficulty in making the final resolve. I had not the necessary strength. How was I to control my passions? The elimination of carnal relationship with one’s wife seemed then a strange thing. But I launched forth with faith in the sustaining power of God.
He then goes on to talk about how taking the vow enabled him to experience a freedom and joy he had never felt previously. Later on he also talks about taking the vow, and essentially removing sex and lust from the picture enabled him to finally fully understand women and be their brother. It seems weird from our sex-obsessed cultural perspective, but his writings on the subject are both beautiful and profound.
You could abstract this into a general rule of living as well, I think: when you’re not needing, expecting or hoping for anything from anyone else, then you’re free to finally be yourself (and be complete) and to relate to the other person as they really are, and not as you’d like them to be (or as you fear them being).
- END -
ASSOCIATED CONTENT @TMBCHR (Auto-Generated)
- Sex & Emotional Need
- Quote
- “We don’t mean to offend you, but gay sex is a sin, and you’re all going to burn in hell forever.”
- Sex in Singapore
- The Democratic Republic of Sex
7 Comments
This is probably the best defense to me of the celibate Jesus, that he did *not* in fact do it with Mary Magdalene and have a bunch of kids. See also: caritas.
I actually need sex. Perhaps there’s another route to my feeling like a woman really deeply loves me, in the romantic way that my heart yearns for, but if there is such a way, I have never seen it.
I’ve tried a lot of things. I have tried several different types of relationships with women. What has really moved my heart, though, is love and sex, which are very close together for me.
Further, sex permeates my whole life and being. You might call it, “sex obsessed.” To me, though, it is just a natural part of who I am. I like sexy everything. Consider it a personal style: There are some people who decorate their room in 1950’s googie style. Some people decorate their room in Santa Fe western style. There are all these ways of doing it. Myself, I live in gypsie/pagan/fairy sexy.
If you want to relate with me as I really am, rather than how you would like me to be, then this is something that you have to accept about me. This is my freedom, and this is my joy. I could never share worlds, with a woman who did not have sex with me.
Well that strikes me as very honest and I find that to be wonderful. More damage, I think, comes from not openly expressing or recognizing these things and acting according to hidden personal agendas at the expense of others.
This strikes me as relevant but I can’t for the life of verbalize how
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ac%C3%A9phale
Maybe it’s just their symbolic logo. It’s just somehow a visually striking image.
I would like to better understand what you mean by this statement.
Have you heard about this:
http://www.class.uidaho.edu/ngier/gantan5000.htm
I have a great book called “The Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People”. A great read.
Wow, that’s interesting.
“It is now widely known” is not enough proof for me at the moment. However, I remain open to the possibility of it.
The first thing that popped into mind for me was Michael Jackson sharing his bed with children very openly.
One Trackback
[...] Reflecting on Gandhi’s words about sex has lead me to further clarity on the subject: that most of what we consider to be the “sex-drive” in fact is not ’sexual’ or biological at all, but is composed of emotional needs expressed physically. That is, being incomplete unto ourselves curses us to seek completion in others - I believe wrongly so. [...]