Throughout my travels in the seedy underbelly of Baltimore nightlife, I have been hearing whispered mention of a group of dark magicians referred to as “Wham City“, named after the George Michael supergroup, Wham!

Last night I was gifted with an interesting rumor regarding these fellows and their deep ties to local politics here in Maryland. Apparently, Dan Deacon, the party scientist behind behind the Wham City explosion, also had a hand in Mayor Sheila Dixon’s notorious road resurfacing program, Operation Orange Cone. My informant was unclear as to whether Deacon originated the plan itself or just designed “Oppy” the dance-tastic Operation Orange Cone mascot:

In any case, thanks, Dan Deacon & Sheila Dixon, for so massively screwing up our streets. Now that you’ve made it so big, just remember who actually built this city…