the timboucher experience

Having dreams, in detail, lately about what might best be described as ancestral spirits and maybe even elementals. I’m sure the subject has been partly spawned by my research into devas and nature spirits from a purely academic viewpoint: my subconscious mind attempting to flesh out sterile web factoids into living breathing entities.

One in particular was this giant ant, which I might describe as something like “the mother of ants.” It did not look exactly like an ordinary ant would, but retained the basic essence of anthood, amplified to an impossible degree you would never find in reality. It’s chitinous body was covered with esoteric geometric patterns. I was not afraid looking at it. It communicated with me as part of a larger body of entities: something which I’ve taken to calling the weihuti, a word that appeared in my waking mind unbidden after the same dream. These creatures, however, were dressed like birds. I understood them to be ancestors posing in shamanic bird costumes, full-bodied - a little bit like muppets maybe. Their image is burned into my mind’s eye.

I don’t really agree that “nature spirits and demons are at war” as a reader of my site recently remarked. That’s like saying wolves and deer are at war. Everything in a natural system has its appropriate role, place and function. Those expand and contract according to opportunities available within and around their niche. Viewing it as warfare seems needlessly anthropomorphic and heavy-handed to me. Other metaphors and poetic descriptions I find much more useful.

And don’t get me wrong: I’ve seen into the heart of evil. I know it exists, I know what it is. Some of my evidence, again, comes from dreams. Dreams in which myself and friends have encountered and banished demonic entities: ones who try to insert their thoughts into your inner stream, pretending to be you in order to take you over, to make you addicted to their power. It’s a struggle, but it’s not warfare. I’ve peeked in, accidentally, on arcane blood rituals: inter-generational hybrid breeding experiments which may only exist in the dreamworld, but which may also point to some greater truth in our waking lifestreams. I’ve seen suffering and abyssmal dark sadness, but I’ve seen no war. I’ve seen injustice and the flight of the free into the night to preserve their way of life. But I’ve seen no war. I’ve seen turmoil on a human scale, but I’ve seen nothing of the Earth herself crying out in fear and terror over the actions of her foolish impotent children. The Dude abides. There’s only one Tao. Shadows and light aren’t fighting each other. It’s an interplay of forces, cause and effect, moves and counter-moves. It’s a thriving chaotic system with many players - some of which go unseen - but to call it war is inelegant and dangerous. What you seek out, you tend to find. What you go out hunting circles back around, eventually, to ensnare you.

Better to harmonize yourself with the flow. Find the usepaths. Find the songlines. Communicate with your ancestors who have moved beyond living and dying, between struggle and fear. In the empty fullness of God’s embrace there is no want or need, only decision. Only acceptance. Only reflection.

• The 72 Goetian Spirits
• Harner on Spiritual Reality
• I See Monsters
• Stitched together demon suits
• Designer Drugs, Designer Spirits